When you knew that regardless of how onerous you tried, success was inconceivable or virtually inconceivable, would you continue to push your self to the restrict? Or would you rationally pivot to a different endeavor with an actual likelihood of success? Personally, if the chances had been overwhelmingly in opposition to me, I’m undecided I’d hassle pushing so onerous.
Since my children had been born, I’ve observed a rising pattern: extremely tutorial Asian American college students with stellar GPAs and high SAT scores getting rejected from most of their top-choice schools. That is widespread for a lot of college students, particularly as admissions charges plummet due partially to the benefit of making use of by means of the Widespread App. Nonetheless, the problem appears much more pronounced for Asian candidates.
Though Asian People make up solely about 7% of the U.S. inhabitants, they aren’t thought-about a minority group eligible for preferential therapy in school admissions, jobs, or promotions. As an alternative, based mostly on common SAT and ACT scores by race, it seems they have to rating larger than different teams simply to have an equal likelihood of acceptance. The Supreme Court docket acknowledged this disparity when it dominated in opposition to affirmative motion on June 29, 2023.
When variety, fairness, and inclusion (DEI) grew to become a dominant motion after George Floyd’s killing in 2020, Asian People had been largely unnoticed of the racial justice dialog—regardless that they, too, have confronted discrimination and hate. I get it—Asians have the very best median revenue amongst all racial teams, so why prioritize a gaggle that’s perceived as doing nicely?
However what if you happen to’re a poor Asian from a damaged household? In that case, you would possibly simply be out of luck.
College students Might Have Loved Life Extra
Through the pandemic, I had an epiphany: What’s the purpose of my children finding out so onerous if their probabilities of getting right into a high school—and touchdown a promising job afterward—are slim to none?
As an alternative of stressing over straight As, high SAT scores, varsity sports activities, membership management, and curing most cancers, why not allow them to absolutely get pleasure from their youth? All this intense stress to get right into a high school does not appear wholesome.
The rise in melancholy and anxiousness amongst highschool college students is alarming, with many feeling relentless stress to excel. Some even take their very own lives as a result of they don’t really feel adequate academically. We can’t let that occur. I refuse to let my daughter and son endure below the load of standing and cash on the expense of their well-being.
A Higher, Happier Childhood When You Have No Probability
Think about waking up excited to go to high school—not for grades, however for the sake of studying. You’d deal with topics you care about and do exactly sufficient to move those you don’t just like the quiet quitters at present. Because the odds of getting right into a high 25 college are so low, you’d be content material with a B-average and a sub 1,200 SAT rating. With decrease expectations, you’d really feel grateful for no matter school you do get into.
What a unbelievable Okay-12 expertise! I used to be all in on this concept—no Tiger Dad stress, no pushing my children to grind for a top-tier college simply to grow to be bankers working below fluorescent lights for 60 hours per week. I’ve been there, and it’s not enjoyable, even when the cash was good.
As an alternative, they might go to group school, save a fortune, and pursue careers they really get pleasure from. And with the $700,000+ every that may have in any other case gone to personal college tuition, I’d discover a strategy to reward them monetary safety early.
Then issues modified in 2025. Intense merit-based rewards got here again into focus below the brand new administration.

The Analogy Of Decrease Taxes Hurting Your Life-style
To assist clarify the unfavorable of merit-based reward, let’s have a look at tax coverage for instance.
When taxes are lower, folks work tougher as a result of they get to maintain extra of their earnings. In idea, that is nice—particularly if the federal government has been losing taxpayer {dollars}.
However the issue with working tougher and longer is that cash is addictive. Many individuals don’t know when to cease, even after they’ve sufficient. Quick-forward 40 years, and the wealthy banker or techie would possibly surprise why they spent a lot time chasing cash after they may have been doing one thing extra fulfilling.
I see this habit to wealth day by day by means of Monetary Samurai. It’s extraordinarily onerous to give up getting cash, even if you happen to hate your job. That’s why I began writing about FIRE in 2009—to offer folks the braveness and monetary framework to stroll away from work they despise and do one thing they love.
Sure, making some huge cash and investing properly is nice. However if you happen to maintain sacrificing time for extra money when you have already got sufficient or are on monitor to die with loads, it’s a rattling disgrace.
I left work in 2012, partly as a result of I did not wish to pay ~40% of my revenue to the federal government for the privilege of working 60 hours per week and feeling always confused. So in a approach, I am grateful for President Obama for elevating my federal marginal revenue tax fee to 39.6% and giving me the motivation to interrupt free. Paying one other 12.3% tax to California plus one other 7.2% in FICA tax was merely not value it anymore.

Advantage-Primarily based Reward Can Additionally Harm Your Life-style
On the floor, rewarding folks based mostly solely on benefit sounds truthful. But it surely may be a lure for essentially the most bold amongst us.
When folks understand they will get forward by outworking and outsmarting their friends, they’ll do exactly that. A 60-hour workweek turns into 70 hours. Then 80. Then 90. The arms race for extra by no means ends till we make it cease.
Identical to cash habit is tough to give up, merit-based competitors is, too. When you understand effort immediately correlates with reward, it’s robust to carry again. If I used to be paid based mostly on efficiency at my outdated job at Credit score Suisse, I’d have for certain lasted for at the very least one other 5 years.
If I knew I may outpace AI from stealing my content material simply by writing extra, I’d maintain going indefinitely. However I acknowledge my window of alternative could also be closing quick. That’s why I’ve invested within the very corporations working to make me out of date. In the event that they’re going to remove my retirement dream, at the very least I plan to revenue within the course of!

Rejected Asian American Goes Straight To A Dream Job
Take Stanley Zhong. He had a 3.97 unweighted GPA, a 4.42 weighted GPA, and a near-perfect 1590 SAT rating at Gunn Excessive Faculty. He even based his personal document-signing startup and tutored underserved children in coding.
But, he was rejected by 16 schools, together with MIT, Carnegie Mellon, Stanford, UC Berkeley, UCLA, UCSD, UCSB, UC Davis, Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, Cornell College, College of Illinois, College of Michigan, Georgia Tech, Caltech, College of Washington and College of Wisconsin.
Good gracious! UC Davis has a 42% acceptance fee! Did Stanley write one thing offensive in all his essays? That may be onerous to imagine given he has such a considerate father and useful faculty counselors.
Once I first heard the information in 2023, I used to be surprised. Stanley may have been my son. And if he wasn’t adequate, what likelihood did my children have? Lower than 1% of scholars can obtain the educational scores Stanley achieved. For a second, I felt defeated. Why hassle making an attempt? High universities will merely use subjective causes comparable to character scores to clarify why a pupil was rejected.
However then one thing exceptional occurred.
As an alternative of going to school, Stanley landed a PhD-level engineering function at Google—a job most laptop science grads from the very colleges that rejected him would kill for. Making $200,000+ proper out of highschool is a dream come true.
Stanley proved his naysayers improper.
Constructing Abilities Turns into En Vogue Once more
His story made me rethink. Advantage received out ultimately—not in school admissions, however within the job market, the last word finish objective. Companies, in contrast to universities, want one of the best staff to create one of the best merchandise and maximize earnings.
If essentially the most elite employers with the biggest stability sheets like Google and Meta can not afford to disregard benefit, the identical will occur throughout smaller corporations. Advantage is much more necessary in case you are an entrepreneur.
Then, in February 2025, Stanley and his father sued the College of California for racial discrimination. Regardless of the hate they obtained, they pressed ahead for future Asian American college students who would possibly face the identical bias.
In the event that they win, it may imply extra certified Asian People will get into public universities that obtain authorities funding. However in the end, this shift ought to profit one of the best college students and staff of all races.
So, that loopy dream I had—of Asian American children having fun with a low-stress, joyful childhood—may need to attend. For now, benefit is again in focus, which suggests lengthy hours of finding out, intense competitors in extracurriculars, and massive stress.
However the pendulum could swing once more in time.
Deal with Your Mother and father Nicely
No matter what occurs, one reality stays: be good to your dad and mom.
Faculties and employers could reject you, however your dad and mom seemingly by no means will. They’ll do no matter it takes to offer you alternatives and, in the end, be sure that you are joyful.
And in the event that they’ve been sensible with their cash—investing by means of a principally bull market—they could have extra wealth than you understand. When the time comes for school, a automotive, or perhaps a home, they could simply cowl every thing for you.
As a guardian myself, I always battle the urge to offer my children every thing. However I do know that if I do, I threat making them entitled and comfortable.
Nonetheless, if my son and daughter develop into accountable, variety adults who select careers that genuinely assist others, it’ll be robust to not give them monetary help after they want it.
When Your Greatest Is Not Good Sufficient: Hold On Going
So regardless of your race, your finest wager is to maintain striving even when you’ve got little-to-no likelihood of succeeding. Your pleasure is at stake. Even if you happen to face rejection after rejection, bear in mind—rejection is simply the worth of success.
Hold pushing. Hold grinding. Even when the chances are stacked in opposition to you, your onerous work will finally repay in methods which can be onerous to forecast.
Readers, how do you are feeling about making an attempt your finest regardless of the lengthy odds of success? Are you upset concerning the hyper deal with benefit, or do you welcome the elevated incentive to work onerous? Why do you suppose college students like Stanley Zhong, with near-perfect tutorial information, get rejected by so many high schools? Does this show the significance of writing good essays?
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